


Unexpected, or, Shaun Defies Statistics

by Assassin_J



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: (banging pots and pans together) TRANS HEADCANONS, Assassin Daniel, Desmond alive, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, Fingering, Fluff, I Blame Tumblr, Neutrois Character, Nonbinary Shaun, Occasional Curtain Fic, Other, Post-Assassin's Creed III, Pregnant Sex, Smut, Transgender Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, and no-one is a Templar, autistic headcanons, domestic fluff like whoa, guess you'd call this Npreg, it's like mpreg but not mpreg because he's not male, non-graphic birth, or NBpreg, short-ish chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7258489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/pseuds/Assassin_J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaun's nonbinary and gonna have a baby with Desmond. Don't expect much else out of this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Perhaps, Shaun thought, it would have been prudent to tell Desmond certain details earlier in their relationship.

How much earlier? Well, just... any old time before _now_ would probably have been better.

Because _now_ their standard snogging session was turning unexpectedly (though not unwantedly!) into something more.

To be fair, a lot of their time had been consumed with chasing down artefacts, evading Templars, saving the world, that sort of thing. But still, probably should have set aside a few moments to mention this.

Pinned between Desmond and the cool wall, Shaun squirmed, trying to get his mouth free to talk as Desmond worked a hand down the front of the historian's trousers, into his crotch, probing and seeking _oh christ he has long fingers fucking hell yes don't stop_

But Desmond did stop. And he pulled back from the kiss, brow twisted in confusion. "W- what's this?" he asked, making a slight movement of one finger to indicate what he meant: the warm soft folds that he'd found in place of the expected stiffness.

"This is me, Desmond," Shaun answered evenly after a short pause to regain his breath. "I, er, haven't quite yet fully informed you - though I did plan to! It is my identity after all, even if I'm not always explicitly open about it, but if we're going to keep, well, 'dating', then it's only right that you know..." He ran out of breath again.

"Oh," Desmond said, cautiously removing his hand from Shaun's briefs. "That's, uh, unexpected. But I'm cool, I can deal!" he added quickly to forestall the mood turning sour. "I just, uh. Just let me know if- I mean, what I should do, or not do."

Shaun adjusted his glasses, which had slid halfway off his face in the heat of passion. "Well... you can use 'he'/'him' pronouns, though I'm not entirely a man."

"Okay, but I meant, like, sexually."

" _Oh._ Well, what you were sort of doing before was rather nice."

"Uh, fingering? Right, okay..." Desmond looked pensive and didn't make any moves for a long awkward moment.

"What?" Shaun mock-asked, a little testily. "Something wrong, something turning you off suddenly, oh I wonder what-"

"Sht!" Desmond hissed to cut him off. "I'm not turned off, I like you whatever anatomy you got, I just wanna, y'know, take things a little slow, be respectful and stuff." He broke eye contact and his voice went a little quieter. "'Cause I never before been with someone who's, um, female-to-male."

Shaun shuddered out an unfunny laugh. "Female-to-male? Well, fah, I should've only expected that sort of simplistic terminology." Even with skin flushed and sweaty he still managed to put out the trademark smarter-than-thou attitude, but a bit gentler than past instances, and Desmond didn't feel _too_ too insulted.

"Okay, brain-ass, what's the _correct_ terminology then?"

At this Shaun genuinely laughed, though it was short and snorty. "'Brain-ass'?"

"Brainiac, smartass, whatever. _You_ try conversing coherently with a raging boner."

Shaun snort-laughed again. "Right, then." He shifted slightly on the wall, drawing himself up a little straighter, and spoke into Desmond's ear. "Now, you won't have heard of it, but I'm what's called _neutrois_. More on the masculine side of neutrois, yes, but not male, catch my drift?"

"O- okay," Desmond stammered a little. "So you're, like, kinda in the middle between boy and girl?"

Shaun shrugged. "Eh, you could say 'kinda in the middle', or you could say 'kinda detached from the binary altogether'."

"Binary?"

"The _gender_ binary, you sweet ignoramus," Shaun said, ruffling Desmond's hair playfully. "I ought to put together some recommended reading for you; Bem, Butler, et al. Oh, and since you've had a little experience with Native American culture now, I could write up an overview of different tribes' various- mmfh!"

Desmond had finally kissed him again to shut him up.


	2. Chapter 2

Shaun was relieved. He'd harboured a worry that Desmond might no longer want to be with him after finding out the full details. Sure, the man was openly bi, but that was no guarantee he'd be entirely into someone neither male nor female.

But no; they kept up seeing each other steadily after that. And Desmond, far from being turned off, had been down for pretty much whatever sex act Shaun suggested. They did have to keep things a bit quiet, though. While they didn't really care about keeping the relationship secret, there was the fact that their team was currently housed on the good ship _Altaïr II_ , and they wanted to be considerate of the other passengers.

After several months sailing the globe, doing odd missions and picking up a few more Assassins (existing ones and new recruits alike), Bill had to admit the ship was getting too crowded, so he gave the order to head to the fabled Assassin Headquarters.

 

* * *

 

_This doesn't make sense. I'm no longer at sea- haven't been for a good fortnight- and I'm not eating anything different, but somehow I'm feeling sick at all times of the day from morning to-_

_Sick—! Morning—!_

Shaun's train of thought screeched off the rails and he abruptly stopped pacing. "Oh," he said calmly to the empty room. "Bugger me sideways."

Really, he later thought, it was a wonder this possibility didn't occur to him sooner.

 

* * *

 

Rational person that he was, Shaun didn't just assume his intuition was correct. Well, actually he _did_ assume it was correct, but regardless of that he went and stealthily "borrowed" a test from the med supplies to make doubly sure.

Only after that had come up positive did he really freak out about it. It wasn't a very noticeable-by-other-people freakout, to be sure, but he did lock his room and curl up in bed and allow his emotions to roil around uncontrollably until he could suss out his final opinion on the matter.

That took all evening and night.

The next morning he got out of bed and headed straight to the cafeteria. (After a quick vomit.) Didn't even waste time getting dressed, just wore his sandals, bedrobe, and glasses.

"Where's Desmond?" he asked to nobody in particular when a cursory look-around didn't reveal him.

"Gone out on assassination," someone answered.

"Fuck?!" Shaun said in reply, his voice unusually shrill. "Today of all days, when I've got life-altering info to share with him!?"

"If'n you hurry, you might catch 'im on 'is way out?"

"I fucking hope so!" Shaun turned on his heel and started making long strides across the base, robe flowing around his ankles very beautifully.

 

* * *

 

"Desmond!"

Hearing his name yelled hysterically after him, Desmond paused in the doorway and looked back. "Shaun? Something wrong?"

"You bloody leaving on some mission without even a word to me, eh?"

"Uh, you were asleep, and you've been sick, I figured you needed rest, didn't wanna wake-"

Shaun threw his hands in the air. "Fuck, Desmond, fine! Go stab whoever it is, but for fuck's sake be careful!"

"I, uh, okay." Desmond smiled awkwardly.

Shaun grabbed him by the shoulders. "I really mean it! Don't get cocky or play the martyr out there, you got me? Don't bloody leave me raising your brat on my own!"

Desmond's smile drained away. "Say what?"

Shaun's face stiffened when he realized the verbal slip. _Shite, I really wanted to reveal this with a bit more class._ "N- nothing." _Maybe he didn't hear, maybe he'll be too stupid to realize-_

But no. He'd heard, and he'd realized. "Raising..." Desmond's stunned gaze went to Shaun's waistline. "You mean you're..."

Shaun crossed his arms and huffed a sigh. "Yeah. I am."

Desmond stepped closer to him, looking back to his face, still questioning. "Really?"

"About three months gone now."

Desmond's eyes bugged. "Three months?! Jesus!"

Shaun let out a soft laugh and gestured down his slim figure. "I know, doesn't look like much, does it?"

"Doesn't look like _anything!_ " Desmond said, voice full of awe. "You... I really... got you pregnant?"

"Well I certainly haven't been shagging anyone else!" Shaun retorted, but there was no bite to it.

"But you- I thought you can't? Because you're," Desmond bit his lip a moment while he recalled the word, "natra- no wait, _neutralized_."

"Oh my fucking god, you-" Shaun collapsed with laughter into Desmond's (very confused) arms. "Jesus Christ, Des, no!"

"No?"

" _Neutrois_ , you dense git! I'm _neutrois_ , not bloody _neutered_! And not spayed either, all right? I haven't had my _gonads_ taken out like a bloody dog at the vet!" He hugged Desmond tight as the last throes of mirth left him. "Oh god, Des, all this time you thought I was some sort of... _eunuch_ or something?"

"Well, you had your boobs removed, so I thought you also-"

"No, Des, no." Shaun shot him a dry smile. "Sorry to disappoint, luv, but I've only had surgery up top."

"But you still never stopped me, y'know, 'going all the way', when we... y'know."

Shaun pulled out of the hug and scratched his head, looking a tad sheepish. "Hah, yes... You see, I get these periodic jabs, right? I went on them to stop menstruation. And they've been working like a charm in _that_ regard for years."

"But they don't stop you getting pregnant?" 

Shaun chuckled. "Well, they're meant to do that too, but no contraceptive is perfect, eh? And, admittedly I may have got a bit off schedule with the doses, due to recent hectic events." He moved one hand in a vaguely apologetic manner.

Desmond exhaled a long breath and slumped down into a handy bench. "I... think my mission today can wait a bit. This is... fuck."

Shaun could see he was struggling to find words, and sat down beside him, taking his hand gently. "Yeah... Really, though, I'm not altogether displeased with the idea. A little piece of us mixed together. The genetic timeline marching on." He found his other hand unknowingly stroking over his stomach. "Though perhaps you feel differently?"

Desmond watched the hand move. He swallowed and looked at Shaun again. "I did wanna maybe have a kid someday. Was thinking after saving up a little more from Bad Weather I might start looking for a, y'know, life partner." He laughed wryly. "Then all the Assassin shit hit the fan. Babies weren't even the last thing on my mind!"

"And what about now, eh? That fan isn't out of the shitstorm yet."

"The storm's calmed down a little, though." Desmond smiled. "We're settled here at HQ, pretty safe and secure..." He squeezed Shaun's hand. "I think I'm okay with this. But you're the one whose body is, like, dysphoric sometimes, even under normal conditions."

Shaun's free hand jumped up from his stomach to nervously adjust his glasses. "Ah, heh, yes. Believe me, I've considered that aspect of the situation _quite_ thoroughly."

"And you still wanna do this?"

"Yeah. I still want to have this child." Shaun looked him in the eye with a soft smile. "I wouldn't do it for anyone else, mind."

Desmond smiled wider. "We'll raise a heck of a kid, I bet."

"Yeah. With my brains and your..." Shaun smirked. "Well, I'm sure they'll inherit _something_ decent from your side."

"Hey!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Dad?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"Uh. Did you know Shaun is, uh..."

From the mention of Shaun combined with Desmond's uneasy stance, William had an idea what was coming, but decided to wait it out.

"...not male?" Desmond finally finished.

William nodded simply. "I've noticed you two growing closer," he euphemised, "and have wondered for a while when he might be choosing to disclose this to you."

"Uh, a while back. On the boat. Ship. Whatever."

"Right." William locked eyes with Desmond, steel-gray to brown. "Then you needn't even bring this up to me, since you're aware he's a good person, and a valuable asset to the Brotherhood, regardless his anatomy or identity."

"Of course, yeah."

William blinked at him, slow and meaningfully.

"Um." Desmond swallowed. Time to forge ahead. "Point is, he's pregnant."

William's composure faltered; his arms shook visibly.

"Yeah, I kinda felt that way too."

William put a hand over half his face. "So you've, ah, been close in _that_ way."

Desmond was a teeny bit amused at Bill being so flustered. But he himself was a little flustered too. "Uh, yeah. I mean he was on birth control, but y'know, things happen, I guess."

"I _guess_." William sighed and looked at him again. "So now what?"

"So now- or in about six-ish months," Desmond smiled wide and incredulous, "we're gonna have a baby."

 

* * *

 

"You know, we might not have just **a** baby."

They were sitting together outside in the fresh breeze when Shaun said this.

And Desmond reacted with a jolt. "Wh- Holy- don't tell me it's twins!?"

"Happens once or twice every hundred pregnancies."

"Umm. Oh man." Desmond laid a hand on his head. "Oookay," he said, forcibly steady. "Twins... I... I can deal." He glanced at Shaun with a lopsided, shaky smile. "Twice as much work, but twice the reward, right?"

Shaun smirked. "'Course it's most likely just the one."

"Wait, what? You just told me it was twins!"

"No, Desmond, I didn't." Shaun tossed his head smugly. "I told you we might not have a single baby, and I told you the statistical odds of twins."

Desmond's brows lowered and he gave Shaun a slight shove in the arm. "You ass. Just freaking me out for no reason, huh?"

"Just wanted you to be aware of the possibility," Shaun said, and pecked the tip of his nose.

Desmond couldn't stay irritated for long. "Right, heh. Thanks for the info."

The sunlight glinted off Shaun's glasses. "We've already hit a statistical longshot once, conceiving while I'm on Depo jabs. Compared to _that_ , a multiple gestation would be quite prosaic."

Desmond made a mental note to look up "prosaic" later. "Right, yeah. But even with just one, I think we'll have our hands full with it."

"With _them_."

"Yeah, shit, _them_ , sorry." Desmond put an arm around his shoulder for an apologetic squeeze.

Shaun nodded and put a hand on the bottom of his shirt. "They forgive you, I'm quite sure."

Desmond tilted his head forward to peer again at where the hand was resting. He'd been doing that a hell of a lot since the reveal yesterday. "You really sure this is three months?"

Shaun shrugged a little. "Give or take some weeks."

"But you're so small. Is everything going alright? What did the doctor say?"

Shaun leaned back against the bench and mumbled, "I, er, haven't been to the doctor about this yet."

Desmond shot him a shocked glare. "Dude!"

"Not a dude."

"Ugh, fine, but you still needa get checked out, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Desmond stood and yanked Shaun up along with him.

Shaun didn't particularly like doctors; he'd had some bad experiences in the past. But he had to admit Dr. Chiu was all right, personality-wise. She'd been the first one he'd really 'come out' to after being wrangled into the Brotherhood, and she'd handled everything remarkably well, so much that Shaun very much suspected he wasn't her first trans patient.

But he'd still avoided going to her about the pregnancy. "Just out of stubborn habit, I suppose," he said with a forced laugh. "I still have this mindset that all doctors are egotistical douchey windbags who aren't as smart as they think they are."

Desmond snickered. "Gee, pot kettle black much?"

"Excuse you, I _am_ as smart as I think I am!"

 

* * *

 

"So, I suppose you'll be my midwife," Shaun said to Dr. Chiu, making conversation while she drew several vials of blood for testing. Then he grimaced and sucked air through his teeth.

Dr. Chiu looked up. "Hurts?"

"No, no, you're fine. I just- 'midwife' won't do. Won't do _at all_." Desmond had scarcely opened his mouth to ask why not before Shaun explained. "Etymologically, it's Middle English for 'with woman'. And Middle English for 'person' is 'man', so that's no good either." He exhaled. "I'll just say 'obstetrician' then."

"Or just say 'doctor', you fucking nerd!" Desmond laughed.

 

* * *

 

"Oooomigod wow!" Rebecca did [that wallace and gromit excited hands "cheese" thing.](https://media.giphy.com/media/z7WDgVoPhLo7S/giphy.gif) "Congrats!"

"Thanks," Desmond said.

"Don't thank _her_ , I'm the one doing all the work," Shaun joked. "All she did was congratulate us."

Clay cocked his head and smirked. "I'd noticed you were real cranky and short-tempered lately. Tell-tale mood swings- wait no, that's how you always are!"

"Piss off, Kaczmarek." Shaun flipped him a middle finger.

Lucy grabbed his hand and put it back down. "Be nice." She looked to Clay. "Both of you."

"No surprise you got knocked up," Daniel put in from his spot seated backwards on a chair. "I could hear y'all going at the horizontal mambo practically every night on the damn boat." He stuck his tongue out and cackled. "Hell, I should probably check an' make sure I didn't get pregnant just from the fuckin' sound of it!"

"With the amount of crap you put in your body, that'd be one messed-up little baby," Hannah said with a shake of her head.

"Hey, c'mon! I'm off that stuff now, babe!"

 

* * *

 

All the whole den knew about it by that evening. "Christ," Shaun exhaled wearily as he collapsed onto his bed. "I think I've hit a world record for 'number of people I had to explain my gender to in a single day'."

Desmond nodded sympathetically. "Y'know, believe it or not, a couple people have already started asking me, 'boy or girl'. Like which one I want."

Shaun gave a dry laugh. "The notion of 'wanting' one is ridiculous in general; whole host of sexist baggage packed in there. So, what have you been saying in response?"

"Well, obviously I say I don't care and those aren't the only two options anyway."

"Good man." Shaun pulled him down onto the bed for a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

"We'll have to choose a decent gender-neutral name, eh?" Shaun said one night as they cuddled in bed.

Desmond yawned wide and snuggled closer into his chest.

Shaun ran his fingers through Desmond's hair. "What do you think of 'Quinn'?"

Desmond made a noise of mock disgust. "Hey you," he put a hand on Shaun's tummy, just barely starting to show signs of growth, "gimme a nice strong kick if you wanna be 'Quinn'."

"He's not going to kick at this early stage, moron, and you know it!"

"He?"

"Shite. _They_." Shaun balled up a fist. "Bloody 'pregnancy brain'; I thought I'd be immune to that."

"Hey, you're only human," Desmond said with a laugh. "You've made mistakes before; remember the 'dead end' in Rome? Or were you pregnant back then too?"

"Ha ha. Let's get back on the topic of names. Perhaps 'Leslie' would be more to your liking?"

Desmond thought a moment, then shook his head. "Sorry, I had a bad ex named Leslie."

"Oh all right then; _you_ got any grand name ideas?"

"How 'bout Mary-James?"

"What?"

"Y'know, from history's most famous genderfluid Assassin pirate." Desmond grinned. "I been doing some research."

"But that's _two_ names, smushed together."

"So?"

"So- it's idiotic. Your heart's in the right place, but really, the only thing worse would be if you said fucking 'Jasmary' or similar."

Desmond rebounded without missing a beat. "How about M.J., then?"

Shaun opened his mouth, all set to rebuff the suggestion, but... "Actually... that's not too terrible."

"Cool, we got that outta the way."

"Although people may assume it stands for Mary Jane."

"We could do J.M. then."

Shaun made an unsure "Ueh" sound. "Don't know about that. J.M. doesn't roll off the tongue as well as M.J. does."

"Fuck." Desmond smacked his palm on his face. "Neutral names are hard. Maybe we can just do a name that matches whatever gender they look like they have, and they can change the name later if they got a problem with it."

"Oh bollocks!" Shaun sat up. "I just realized there's no good gender-neutral term for 'parent'."

"Doesn't 'parent' work?"

"Grh, that's too dry and formal."

Desmond grinned. "I woulda thought 'dry and formal' suited you."

Shaun rolled his eyes. " _Plus_ , good luck getting a tiny child able to pronounce 'parent' instead of 'mama' or 'dada'."

Desmond clasped his hand. "We'll figure something out, okay babe? We got a long while to go."

 

* * *

 

"So Abstergo's latest scheme is collecting Isu genetic samples from 'Sages', which are- Oh." Shaun went wide-eyed a second, then blinked.

The meeting room was intensely quiet. For Shaun Hastings to lose his train of thought was a very unprecedented event. "You all right?" Desmond asked, raising a hand.

Shaun blinked again, seemingly re-orienting himself to the room. "Oh, yes. Pardon the interruption."

"You needa throw up or-"

"No, no; I felt fetal movement is all."

"What, shit, really?" Desmond yelped, bolting forward from his seat like he was suddenly magnetized to Shaun's middle.

Shaun went a little pink as Desmond groped over his tummy's tiny outward curve. "Desmond, really, I'm in the middle of a presentation, and furthermore I doubt they're going to move again anytime s- Ooh. Well I stand corrected on that."

Desmond frowned and moved his hands around. "Where was that? I didn't feel it."

"Where, goodness, that's hard to pin down," Shaun said, "but I'm not surprised you didn't feel. They're still quite small; can't really make an impact strong enough to be felt on the outside."

"Oh." Dejected, Desmond trudged back to his seat and the meeting resumed.

 

* * *

 

Desmond finally got to feel baby kick a few weeks later. It was after a grueling training session where he'd had his ass semi-kicked by Daniel.

"What the fuck type of fighting style is this even?" he asked, exasperated, at the end of the match.

"Самбо. Самозащита без оружия," Daniel said.

"Oh great, have you been in Russian mode this whole time? Is that why you were so aggressive; you're seeing a Templar when you look at me?"

Daniel pulled back and looked offended. " _Нет_ , я полностью under control, fuck off."

"Fine, _comrade_ , I _will_ fuck off."

 

* * *

 

"Hey remember when I said 'I swear to god, sometimes it's like that dude's actually trying to kill me!' Turns out I wasn't wrong!" Desmond said when he got to the little houselet he and Shaun shared.

"You and Danny-boy have another tiff?" Shaun asked, not looking up from his book.

"Well we were doing fight practice like any other Tuesday, and I got matched up with him, and I was doing pretty good- as I usually do," he added as a slightly smug aside, "until he, apparently, started going into a Bleeding Effect and his fuckin' fight skills all leveled up to eleven!"

"Mrm. Well, it's not like he can control it."

"Hey, show more concern for the father of your baby's well-being. Look, I got this wicked bruise when he put me in a leglock."

"Oh, speaking of baby!" Shaun put the book down and patted the couch beside him. "Have a seat and take a feel. Or should that be 'take a seat and have a feel'?"

He really was starting to look proper pregnant now, and had taken to leaving the bottom button of his shirt open. Desmond eagerly unbuttoned the rest and smooshed his palms against Shaun's belly.

"Careful now, we don't want to frighten the little sprout like he's about to be flattened."

"Oh! Okay." Desmond eased up. "So, you think I can feel them today?"

"Yeah, most definitely. Chewy felt them moving quite a bit during this morning's checkup." Shaun nodded at his book. "And we've just been reading up on the Peloponnesian War, so we're a bit excited and hyper."

"What's this 'we' stuff? Are you and the baby some kinda gestalt entity?"

Shaun chuckled. "Ooh, fancy vocab."

"Did I use 'gestalt' right?"

"More or less."

Desmond smiled. Then his eyes focused suddenly down on Shaun's navel. "They kicked! I felt it; they kicked!"

"Yes, I told you they would."

Desmond looked back up at him, smile even wider now. "That's my Shaun. You're always right." He stood and pulled the enby into a hug, adding, "Well, _almost_ always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a name in mind, but I'm always open to suggestions....


	5. Well isn't that just poppycock? I'm getting all buggered out and full

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Hack_Generation
> 
> Sorry this one's on the shorter side.

Desmond gradually, calmly, woke from slumber. And he smiled, thinking how good it was to start the day like this: well-rested, free of stress headaches, cozy bed. He hadn't had sleep like _this_ during those out-of-control months in late 2012, and that made him always appreciative of them nowadays.

Plus, he now had someone to wake up next to. Never mind that this was someone who, on first meeting, had been consistently abrasive and snotty to him; they'd somehow fallen into a loving relationship. (Sure, he was still abrasive _sometimes_. But not as harshly so anymore. One could compare it to a sanding tool that had lost some of its edge from years of heavy use, perhaps)

Desmond yawned and turned over in the bed, reaching for Shaun.

Shaun wasn't there, though. So Desmond rubbed a drowsy eye and looked around.

 _There_ Shaun was; standing in boxer shorts before the mirror with an inscrutable expression. "Can't believe how big I've gotten," he muttered to himself as he reached down and framed his bare tummy with his fingers.

"S'the baby that's getting big, really," Desmond said through another yawn.

"Poppycock," Shaun scoffed. "I've ballooned up a size in my legs and feet; I'm certain there's no baby in those parts."

 _Well you are eating a lot of fish sticks and custard lately_ , Desmond might have responded, but that wouldn't have been a wise move, he knew.

"Perhaps it's just fluid retention, but all the same, I'm not thrilled," Shaun said. He exhaled and took a seat at the end of the bed. "And on that note, trousers are getting uncomfortable; I'll have to browse 'round the base for bigger clothes to borrow pretty soon." He turned to face Desmond with a weary half-smile.

Desmond pushed the bedsheets aside and crawled over to him. "Hey, you're doing this like a champ, hon." He wrapped Shaun in a heartfelt hug. "I can't imagine how bizarre it feels being pregnant, and all the little weird symptoms that come with it."

Shaun patted his back. "Oh, it's not so bad. Not most of the time."

"Might get worse as you get farther along."

"Pah, at least I'm over the bit where I'm sick every hour or two. Oh, that reminds me-" Shaun wiggled out of the hug and grabbed a small bottle off the dresser. "Haven't taken my vitamin this morning."

As always Desmond was amused at the British pronunciation of "vitamin" with a short I instead of a long one. He watched Shaun swallow the capsule and make a face. "Do they taste really bad?"

Shaun gulped down half a glass of water before answering. "Chalky and strange, yes. They used to make me throw them right up again, that's how it reminded me." He chugged more water, then exhaled and patted his tummy. "Still don't like taking them, but I've got to ensure the sprout's getting proper nutrition."

Desmond picked up the bottle and scanned over the label. "With folate and DHA for optimal brain development," he read aloud, and smirked at Shaun. "So we're gonna have a kid with a giant smartass brain, huh?"

"You say that like it's a _bad_ thing," Shaun scoffed, tossing on a loose shirt.

Desmond started to get dressed too; every day was a busy one at the Assassin headquarters, and he needed to get a move on soon. "Hey, I don't mind a smart kid. But if they have a giant brain, they'll have a giant head. And that might not be fun for you, y'know?" he said, chuckling.

Shaun snapped a sock at him. "I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of birthing our child, no matter how large or small their head. And head size isn't correlated with intelligence anyway. Now go be a dear and bring me a coffee."

Desmond finished tying his shoes and stepped over close to Shaun. "Payment first." Soon after learning of the pregnancy, they'd had an intense disagreement over Shaun's keeping up of the coffee habit. Desmond had wanted him to switch completely to decaf, but Shaun had summoned a raft of medical literature to support that it was okay to have one or two cups a day, plus claiming he needed the caffeine to get through his arduous workload of history research for the Brotherhood. In the end Desmond had settled on the compromise that Shaun had to give him one passionate kiss for each steamy mug.

Shaun put on a mock-annoyed look. "Oh, the things I do for you." Then he smirked and pulled Desmond's lips against his own, revealing that he was all too actually eager to provide this payment.


	6. Chapter 6

Desmond came back to the house that evening, and found Shaun standing before the mirror again.

Wearing a dress this time, though.

The cottony white material hugged his ass and covered halfway down his legs, somehow accentuating the pale skin of calves below. Desmond's mouth hung open as he stared, because Shaun was really _rocking_ that dress, he had to admit. A half-hushed "Damn" slipped out of his mouth.

Shaun must've heard him, because he turned and smiled a greeting. "Hello!" He smoothed down a wrinkle in the front of the dress. "You seem a little overly surprised."

"I- I _am_ surprised, yeah."

"What, because I usually dress in what society deems 'male' clothing?" Shaun clicked his tongue condescendingly.

"It's not that." Desmond rubbed the back of his neck. "I just didn't know you owned any 'non-male' clothing."

"Oh. Right, well, I did mention going round to borrow clothes, didn't I?" He twirled in place, showing off his ass again, although that wasn't his intention. "I picked this up from Susan. You know Susan, right?"

"Yeah sure." Desmond didn't want to think about the middle-aged no-nonsense ship captain right now. "But damn, you look fine as hell in maternity clothes!"

"Naternity, please," Shaun laughed.

"...Isn't that what I said?"

Shaun laughed again and pinched Desmond's cheek. "No- you said ' _ma_ ternity'. It's from the Latin for 'mother'. So I'd like to request you say ' _na_ ternity', which combines that word with an N, standing for 'non-binary' or 'neutrois'."

Desmond rubbed his cheek where Shaun had pinched it. "Sheesh, why you gotta obsess so much over words all the time."

"It's built into me, Desmond, it's how I do my _job_. I obsess over books and charts and maps and translations and family trees, analysing them and-"

Desmond held up his hands in acceptance. "Okay, fine, fine. But I still don't see why we can't just say 'maternity clothes', I mean that's what they _are_ , it's not directly misgendering you, is it?"

"I just don't like that term!" Shaun said firmly, fists balling tight at his sides. "And I have a feeling it'll set me off if I hear it too much, all right?"

"But saying 'naternity' makes me think of Ralph Nader."

This unexpected turn of topic cracked Shaun's angry façade; he sputtered a laugh. "Christ, Des, okay." He put a hand on Desmond's shoulder. "Let's compromise. 'Pregnancy clothes', eh?"

"That works." Desmond grinned. "Whatever you call 'em, you're still fine as hell."

"Why thanks, luv." He put his other hand on his belly. "To be honest I was a bit anxious you'd be put off by the changes to my body. They certainly put _me_ off sometimes."

"Just remember, it's all temporary," Desmond said, stroking away the worry lines from Shaun's face. "In a few more months they'll be born, and you can go back to your usual clothes."

Shaun smiled. "Well, I don't mind dresses. I think I may keep on wearing them now and again."

"Hey, fine with me, babe." Desmond gave him a little kiss on the cheek. "Whatever you wear, you're still my Shauny-wonny."

"That nickname is asinine."

Desmond grinned wider. "You want a different one, word-nerd?"

"No. I sort of like it. Sort of." Shaun laughed again, softly. "You know... if you have a problem with 'naternity', then heaven forbid you ever meet someone with really obscure pronouns."

 

* * *

 

**_"GgAaHh!!"_ **

Desmond rushed toward the sound of Shaun's anguished yelp, and found him with his butt wedged in the toilet. "Shit, how did this happen?"

"You left the seat up!" Shaun snapped. "Obviously!"

"Shit, sorry. Never imagined you'd actually fall in," Desmond said, fighting back laughter- it was a rather funny sight. "Uh, are you okay?"

"My arse is freezing and I'm really _peeved_ , but I'm not actually _injured_ , now help me up, git!" Shaun waved his arms about until Desmond grabbed them and pulled him out from his predicament.

Once Shaun was standing again, Desmond hugged him and finally let himself giggle a little. "Can't believe you really fuckin' _fell in_!"

"Well ex _cuse_ me, it was bloody bound to happen eventually! I can't use the loo standing like _some people_ can-" here Shaun threw a little scowl at the sky- "plus I'm too damn _pregnant_ to see the damn _bowl_ , and my balance's thrown off to boot!"

"Okay, shh, shh." Desmond rubbed Shaun's back, kneading between the shoulderblades to ease out the tension. "Sorry I laughed. That really sucks."

Shaun's face pinched up and he rubbed along the bottom of his stomach. "And another thing that sucks: I couldn't hardly concentrate on anything productive at work, since Quinn's been poking me in this one spot all day."

Desmond stepped back. "I told you we're not naming them Quinn."

"Drat." Shaun snapped his fingers. "I was hoping to subconsciously warm you up to that name."

"Not gonna work, hun." Desmond returned his attention to rubbing Shaun's back. "How about Max?"

"Ew, no," Shaun replied instantly. "It'll remind me every time of that deranged Templar Roth."

"Alex?"

"Ugh. We are _not_ naming them after your weird virus friend."

"But he's, like, non-gendered too."

"I don't care," Shaun said, covering his tummy with his hands. "This baby is not an 'Alex'."

Desmond blew out a long frustrated breath. "Okay, okay. We've got time, I guess."

"I might go for 'Dana', though."

Desmond frowned and flicked his ear.

"Ow, all right, I was just taking the piss there."

"Huh?" Desmond looked back at the toilet. "You, uh, still needa go?"

Shaun facepalmed. "It means 'joking', you bloody Yank."

 

* * *

 

"Oi, lookit that!" Shaun pointed at the screen.

Desmond nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I know, right?"

"Real feisty one you've got cooking in there," Dr. Chiu said, tweaking a knob on the ultrasound machine slightly.

"Strange, though," Shaun said. "Keeps moving that one arm in and out, in and out."

"They're practicing," Desmond said through a wide smile. "Gonna be a natural with the Hidden Blade."

"Bollocks no! They're practicing using that arm for writing; they're going to be a scholar."

"They could be both," Dr. Chiu offered. "Field work and research aren't mutually exclusive."

"Yeah, but hello? They're clearly doing a stabby motion, not a writey motion." Desmond flicked his own arm out for comparison.

She rolled her eyes. "These movements aren't voluntary anyway, just so you know."

"Aw." Desmond crossed his arms and pouted. "Way to take all the magic out of things, Doc."


	7. Chapter 7

One day in the sixth month- _Christ I'm six months along, almost seven actually, bloody hell time flies_ \- Shaun was assigned to spend the morning giving their new network security system a thorough check to make sure it was still quite unhackable. And Desmond stayed by his side, keeping him company, reading through pregnancy stuff to pass the time.

"Hm... 'Birth plan'." Desmond cocked an eyebrow at Shaun. "D'you have a birth plan?"

Shaun made an undignified "Urmg" sound and shifted in his seat. "Sorry, come again? I was paying attention to my work."

"Birth plan?" Desmond repeated, setting the book down and tapping the relevant part of the page. "Apparently that's a thing we're supposed to figure out and write down and stuff. All the li'l details on how you wanna do things the big day."

"Oh Christ."

"So you haven't thought about it."

"I _have_. A little bit." Shaun took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose. "Er... Vaginally, I suppose. Cesarean brings more risks and a longer recovery."

"Okay, right. So we're, uh, supposed to fill in this list here, and give it to the doctor." Desmond dug a pen out of his pocket and checked a box on the page.

"Mind you, I'm not philosophically _opposed_ to cesarean if Chewy says I need it."

"But it's not your first choice, got it," Desmond said, nodding. "What about, uh, induction? If you go past your due date-"

"Oh, I have a feeling I'll be entirely amenable to getting it over with." Shaun shifted position again; the baby was pressing an elbow or something into his pancreas, it felt like. "So mark that a 'yes please'."

"Right... Epidural?"

"I've heard those are lovely."

Desmond checked the appropriate selection, then moved on down the list. "'Okay for medical students to observe-' well we don't have medical students here, so we'll skip that. 'Want my partner with me at all times.' That's kind of a no-brainer."

Shaun nodded as he put his glasses back on. "I'll probably want to yell at you a bit, so you should be there to hear my complaints, eh?"

"Just 'a bit'?" Desmond chuckled.

"Maybe more than a bit. Or less, depending how good that epidural is."

"Want any photographs taken?"

"Ugh. _No_."

"Music playing during labor?"

Shaun tilted his head and considered this a moment. "...Light classical, if anything." He stretched his fingers and settled them back on the keyboard in preparation for more typing. "None of that wank _you_ listen to."

"Hey, I listen to the Beatles," Desmond protested. "You like the Beatles."

"Oh, because I'm _British_ , I _automatically_ like the Beatles."

"Don't pretend like you don't. I saw you yesterday tapping your tummy while humming 'Yellow Submarine'."

Shaun held his hands up and smirked. "All right, you got me. The Beatles are quite enjoyable."

 

* * *

 

When they got back to their house for lunch, Desmond's parents and a host of friends burst out and tossed confetti everywhere.

"Baby shower, oh goodness," Shaun said, dazed glee painted across his face. "I should've _known_ you lot were planning one sooner or later."

Seafoam green was apparently the theme: crepe paper streamers in that color were hung all around, and on a table in the corner was a matching cake with icing words that read "Whatever The Gender, We'll Love Them Tender".

"A little on the sappy side," Shaun said when he saw that message, "but I do appreciate your thoughtfulness."

Rebecca cleared her throat. "Okay guys, gals, and enby guest of honor: take your seats. We got baby pictures of everyone, and you gotta guess who's who."

"Baby pics of _everyone_?" Daniel demanded. "Even fucking _me_?" Hannah touched his shoulder in an attempt to calm, but he jostled it away. "Maybe you're _unaware_ , but I didn't exactly have a happy childhood with doting parents snapping pics and shit!"

"Abstergo took photos," Lucy said, keeping her voice steady and even.

Daniel laughed harshly, a jagged dry sound that put Desmond's teeth on edge. "Oh, and you got a hold of 'em? Well then it won't be fucking hard to guess which is me; it'll be whichever kid looks fucking terrified of the cameraman."

That turned out to be true enough: the miserable and malnourished toddler with soppy eyes and shaved-down hair was instantly distinct from the rest of the photos Rebecca tumped out of a bag onto the table. Daniel growled some Russian obscenity and snatched it up, tearing it to pieces before anyone could stop him.

So the game commenced with his photo out of the equation. The remaining six were all of children aged noticeably younger. One even looked like they'd scarcely been born, their skin wet and reddish, their face pouty. People's guesses were all over the place on that one, but eventually Rebecca revealed this was Desmond.

"Oh, such memories," Desmond's mother, Janet, said, putting a hand to her chest.

William turned to look at Desmond, pride in his eyes. "You've grown so much."

"What, did you expect he would stay tiny forever?" Shaun quipped.

Another baby was shown having a grand old time splashing in a tub of bubble bath. After everyone had voiced their guess, Rebecca grinned, cupped her face in her hands, and said, "It's me! I can't believe nobody could tell!"

Desmond initially surmised that the baby with a fluff of blonde hair, sleeping in a shirt with a pickup truck on, was Shaun, then reconsidered and said Clay. Janet and Hannah both guessed Clay as well.

"No, that's me," Lucy said with a half-somber smile.

Desmond's brow crinkled. "Why'd your parents dress you in a truck shirt if you're a girl?"

Shaun applied a light karate-chop-style thwack to Desmond's neck. "Oi, you saying girls can't drive trucks?"

"Ah! Shit, okay, my bad."

Lucy looked over to Rebecca. "You should've picked a different picture for me."

"Sorry, I had a limited number of options," Rebecca said sincerely, as she swept the already-guessed photos back into the bag. "Okay, how about this little cutie?" She pointed to one with a red-haired tyke crawling in the grass.

"Easy, that's Hannah-Banana," Daniel said, smiling and flicking finger-guns at her. He was in a better mood now that a reminder of his time at Abstergo wasn't staring him in the face.

Rebecca nodded. "Right outta the gate. And these last two, the baldie babies?"

"I bet the Christmas one's Shaun," Desmond said, referring to the left-hand photo, with an infant in a candy-striped onesie and Santa hat lying amongst gift boxes. "His birthday's November 16, so he'd be about that old his first Christmas. Whereas Clay's a January baby, so he'd've been way bigger."

"So, process of elimination," Shaun said, "means that's Clay." He wagged his head at the right-hand photo, a baby crawling on a varnished wood floor, wearing nothing but a diaper and a smile.

"Exactamundo!" Rebecca clapped her hands.

"Good, we finished just in time for me to take a loo break." Shaun heaved himself up from the armchair.

"Don't fall in this time," Desmond called after him.

"Shut your gob, luv~"

 

* * *

 

The many, many baby presents included a cat-ear hat from Desmond that Shaun described as "hideous" ("Orange is not my color or yours, and I doubt it'll look any good on the sprout either.") and a jumper declaring the baby "Made In America With British Parts" ("Hah, that's amusing! ...Though not accurate really, they were 'made' on international waters.")

After gifts they dove into the cake.

"You got a name picked out yet?" Rebecca inquired, her tongue dyed with a mix of chocolate and green.

"Unfortunately not." Shaun sighed and patted his tum. "They're just 'the sprout' for now."

"Honestly, I think we might should abandon making it gender-neutral," Desmond said. "I mean, the odds are overwhelming that they'll be cis."

"...says the man with a one-in-a-million rare cocktail of Precursor genes," Shaun laughed softly.

Desmond gave him an odd look. "You saying Precursor genes can make people trans?"

"No, luv, I'm saying our family is a bit known for throwing probability a curveball."

Desmond blinked and put down his plate of cake. "Oh. Wow." His voice sounded suddenly heavy.

"Calm your ass, man, they'll still prob'ly be a nice easy cis kid," Daniel muttered.

Desmond shook his head. "It's not that. It's... when he said 'our family'."

"Ahh," Shaun said, nodding.

"Yeah." Desmond took both Shaun's hands in his. "It hadn't really hit me before. We're starting a _family_." His voice nearly cracked on the last word.

"You and I and our little sprout." Shaun's voice _did_ crack. Then he smiled and gave Desmond a soft long kiss.

Rebecca leaned into Lucy, whispering, "And he said the _cake_ was sappy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this is not my best work I'm sorry

"So, did you _really_ need the network security tested, or was that a ploy to get me out of the house while you set all this up?" Shaun asked, waving a hand around at the baby shower decorations.

"Both," William answered, simple and serious. "Did you find any vulnerabilities?"

"Nah. The system's quite impregnable. Or rather, **un** impregnable- compared to myself." Chuckling at the Desmond-level wordplay, Shaun drummed his fingers on his stomach, right now covered by [a stylish, no-frills white button-up](http://static1.squarespace.com/static/54b96f75e4b076c29fbb5eda/t/568dc281d8af10a744a83858/1452130949484/gallery-1431084037-bbillustrations1-2.jpg), _lord knows where they found something like this in a pregnancy style._

William nodded brusquely. "Good. Last thing we need is for Templars to find our location and force us to evac the whole HQ."

"Especially with you in the delicate condition," Janet added.

"My condition is not _delicate_ , thank you very much!" Shaun snipped at her.

"It literally is, though," Clay said.

"It's not! It's literally a standard part of the human life cycle!" Exasperated now, Shaun stood up quickly, intending to leave the room- _party's pretty much over anyway_ \- but just as quickly he found himself having to flop back into the chair.

And Desmond was by his side in a flash. "You alright, hon?"

"Stood up too fast. Felt a bit dizzy." Shaun laughed weakly, like it was no big deal.

But Desmond took him immediately to see the doctor anyway.

 

* * *

 

He had low blood pressure, according to Dr. Chiu. "Not dangerously low. Just on the borderline," she said. "But I do want to continue monitoring it."

"What can we do to get it back up?" Desmond asked quickly.

"Well, you might try increasing your salt intake," she said as she took the blood pressure cuff off Shaun.

Shaun smirked at Desmond. "And you were telling me to lay off the salty crisps. Now I've got doctor's orders to eat them, hah!"

"And drink more water," Dr. Chiu added.

Shaun's smirk vanished. "But then I'll just have to go wee more often! Whose side are you on, Stephanie?"

She laughed and waggled her pen at him. "The side of a healthy baby and a healthy Shaun, of course."

 

* * *

 

Desmond cuddled him close that night, being the big spoon. Shaun wasn't really able to sleep, though. "I'm just so damn worried."

"What," Desmond murmured, "are you worried about specifically?"

"My health, the sprout's health."

Desmond hugged him gently. "You'll be fine, they'll be fine. Low blood pressure is nothin' big to lose sleep over."

"What if they inherit the autism?"

"Babe, I love you, autism and all, and same would go for our kid."

"But what if they get it worse? A double sucker punch of my autism and Bill's?"

"Bill's? My dad's not autistic."

Shaun snorted. "Oh, believe me, he bloody well is."

Desmond sat up, frowning. "He's not autistic, he's just a jerk sometimes."

"As am I." Shaun rolled over to face him. "Can you honestly not see it in him? Think about it."

"Okay so he's... really unemotional a lot. And gets angry over little shit. And can't do casual small talk."

"And he's always tapping his fingers on the desk."

"Okay fine maybe he is!" Desmond admitted. "Still, I love 'im, even with all that stuff."

"Right, so what if our little sprout winds up with all the social handicaps from both myself and your father?"

Desmond chuckled. "Babe, I don't think it works like that." He reached over to pet Shaun's head. "And even if it does, worrying is not gonna help anything."

Shaun blushed in the dark. "Well... it might raise my blood pressure."

Desmond smiled at him. "We don't wanna raise it **too** much. So let's keep the worrying to a minimum, 'kay?"

"What if they hate me?" Shaun curled up, burying his face in Desmond's thigh. "I am a jerk sometimes."

"Hey, shhh," Desmond soothed, petting him some more. "Every kid hates their parents sometimes. It's like a universal law of physics."

Shaun lifted his head up to glare at him. "You don't know the first thing about physics."

"Right, right." Desmond chuckled again. "So how about _you_ teach the kid physics, and I'll stick to teaching them how to safely jump off buildings."

Shaun smiled slowly. "All right. Heh. I suppose with the two of us together, we'll have this parenting gig more-or-less under control."

"Yeah... Now if you still can't sleep, I could put on that lullaby CD Hannah and Daniel gave us?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

 

* * *

* * *

 

"So Alan's assigned Sophia to be the one directly overseeing Callum's Animus torture- oh, pardon me, 'sessions'- and the thing is, ow, it's a new kind of Animus they're using." Shaun clicked the PowerPoint to the next slide, which showed a dense sheet of technical specs, overshadowed by a sketchup of a large mechanical arm. "This model's even, ow, even more immersive. I suspect they're, ow." Shaun pinched his eyes shut and rubbed a hand down the small of his back. "Anyone mind if I talk sitting down for the remainder?" he asked, already pulling out a chair and sinking into it. "I'm... very pregnant." The last two words left him in one rush of exhausted breath.

A couple of the Assassins around the room rolled their eyes at the obviousness of that declaration.

"D'you need Chewy or anything?" Desmond asked.

Shaun waved this away. "S'nothing really, just same old bollocks. Backache and sore feet and the like."

He'd been complaining of these type of symptoms more and more often in the past few weeks; the baby seemed to be really straining his body, and Desmond was privately a little worried for the impending due date. If Shaun was this bothered by backaches and sore feet, the actual _labor_ would be a goddamn nightmare.

"Maybe you should quit working for the rest of pregnancy," he suggested to Shaun once the presentation was (finally) over and the other Assassins had scuttled off.

"I can't just _quit working_ for another whole month!" Shaun said with utter disgust. "I am a vital part of the Brotherhood's operations, Desmond! Just because I don't go out and directly kill Templars doesn't mean what I do is unimportant!"

"Fuck, I never said it was unimportant! I'm just saying maybe you should chillax a bit while your body is busy with the _important_ task of _building a tiny person!_ " Desmond took hold of one of Shaun's hands. "And if you _were_ going out to kill Templars, you know I would've made you quit the fucking day you knew you were pregnant, duh. It has nothing to do with 'importance'."

Shaun's mouth was twisted in contemplation. "...Will you quit working too?" he asked in a half-whisper.

Desmond didn't hesitate at all. "If you want me to, then yes, I'll quit in a heartbeat."

"Oh, all right. I'll turn in my library access card to Bill, first thing tomorrow." A sharp kick made him wince. "Ooh, Christ, okay! I'll turn it in right now, then!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NB: The smut is more graphic in this chapter.

"Uff, this place is a mess." Shaun pushed a pile of unfolded laundry off the sofa to make a space to sit next to Desmond.

"Mess, schmess, at least the clothes are clean. Wait, holt on!" Desmond dropped the book he'd been poring through and grinned. "That's it! I've got the name!"

"Name for the sprout?"

"Yeah, duh. Whattya think of... _Jess_?"

"Jess, eh?"

"Mm-hm. Jess. Or Jessie." Desmond patted Shaun's belly and watched his expression carefully.

"Ah. I sort of like the sound of the shorter one there." Shaun tilted his head, looking off in the distance. "Jess Hastings Miles," he said slowly.

"You like it, right?"

A smile crept over Shaun's face. "Yeah. I really do."

"Right, good!" Desmond stood up. "'Bout time we settled on a name, there's only three weeks 'til you're due." He rubbed his head. "Oh god, I'm excited. Can hardly believe I'll be a dad soon."

"Can't you?" Shaun spread his hands out over his ample belly. "Seeing is believing here."

"It's happening so fast, though! It feels like I just a couple months ago found out you're pregnant, and now you're already about to pop!"

Shaun made a face. "Don't say 'pop', it gives me terrible mental images."

"Right, right." Desmond chuckled. "So, speaking of our upcoming arrival: I got the nursery mostly set up now. Except the curtains; still needa hang the curtains."

"Fold these first before you get started on something else." Shaun gestured at the laundry.

"Okie doke, yeah." Desmond took his seat again and grabbed an item from the pile. It was one of the baby clothes: a long gown that said _My Gender Is Not What's In My Diaper_. "Tell me again why we had to wash the brand new stuff?"

"Allergen removal. Newborn skin's sensitive as all get out. Least that's what I've been told." Shaun grabbed a handful of tiny socks and started sorting them.

Desmond chuckled. "Jess isn't going to care about mismatched socks, hon."

" _I'll_ care. Hush up and let me obsess." Shaun rolled two green-striped socks together and tossed them onto the coffee table. "Need to obsess over _something_ ; my mind's gone stir-crazy since quitting work."

"You're not 'quitting', you're just taking a sabbatical," Desmond retorted quickly.

"For how long, huh?" Shaun snapped, throwing down another pair of socks with such force that they bounced off the table and across the carpet. "After delivery I've got to recover and take care of the sprout!"

Desmond moved to rub Shaun's shoulder. "After delivery, I will be helping with the sprout," he said, slowly and deliberately. "You can start back full-time on obsessing and analyzing and all that good stuff, probably no more than a week after."

Shaun leaned against his arm. "I mmmay want to take more than a week." His hands brushed over his belly. "Get some more quality time with the sp- with _Jess_."

"Mmm. Good to hear." Desmond laid a kiss on Shaun's forehead. "Meanwhile, we can have some quality time with each other."

Shaun smirked. "Is that a come-on?"

"Ooh, it can be if you want it to be," Desmond murmured silkily, running fingers through Shaun's hair and down the nape of his neck.

Shaun made a soft sound almost like a purr, and shifted closer against him.

"Was that a yes?"

"Yes it's a yes, you dense git," Shaun said, reaching up to tweak Desmond's nose. "We can start with a nice massage; I'm bloody sore."

"Want me to finish folding clothes first, or?"

"Oh... the clothes can wait."

"That's the spirit," Desmond said, unbuttoning Shaun's shirt. He rubbed small circles down his back, following Shaun's directions as to where it was needed most, and got small pleased moans when he hit the right spots.

In no more than ten minutes Shaun was melted across Desmond's lap, soreness all gone. "God, you've got marvelous skill with your hands; have I told you before, luv?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind hearing it again." Desmond slipped fingers down Shaun's spine to the crest of his buttocks and tapped them there pointedly. "You want me to maybe take my hands to the next level here?"

"Mn, not _here_ ," Shaun said with eyes half-lidded and seductive. "We'll dirty the laundry."

Desmond nodded. "To the bedroom, then!" he announced, and scooped Shaun up.

Shaun let out a soft yelp.

"Don't worry, I gotcha," Desmond assured him. "You haven't got so heavy I can't carry you." He moved swiftly to the other side of their small house and deposited Shaun atop the bedsheets.

Shaun grabbed two pillows to support his back and squirmed himself into a more comfortable position. "F-fucking trousers," he spat, flustered fingers pulling down the elastic that nestled under his belly.

"I got ya, hon." Desmond moved onto the bed and helped him tug pants and underwear off, then settled kneeling between his open legs.

Shaun's breath shook out of him in noisy jitters as Desmond ran hands over him, tracing lines up his thighs and spirals over his waist, sprinkling kisses to random spots now and again.

Desmond smiled to himself at every little response from Shaun: a quiver of his foot against Desmond's, a sudden clutching of the sheets, a whispered "Fuck... you..."

"Aw, you know you like it," Desmond said slyly in answer to that.

"Nn, let me... finish my thought," Shaun panted. "It's... 'Fuck, you make me so wet.'" He was blushing, and clammy with sweat.

Desmond _hmm_ ed a low laugh and removed Shaun's glasses, setting them carefully aside, and then moved in, taking Shaun's face in his hands. "Love you too, sweet peep." He pre-empted any protest of the endearment by landing another kiss, hot and yearning and unrestrained, right on Shaun's lips.

Shaun arched up into him, as much as he could considering the obstacle of his swollen stomach. The kiss was quite nice, a channel for their shared emotions, but it wasn't enough, not by half. Slowly going mad, body flickering into raging flame, he hooked both arms and both legs around Desmond.

Desmond got the message and moved one hand down, squeezing between their bodies to tease at Shaun's sex.

Shaun let out a pleased squeal and pitched his hips forward, jostling the meeting of their mouths, but Desmond was quick and used his other hand on the back of Shaun's head, gently so their lips could stay together. Meanwhile he was ramping things up down below, thumb kept outside for stability while two fingers slid slickly in.

Shaun made another noise, more primal and lewd, and ground himself deeper down onto Desmond's fingers, hungry for more. He was too caught up with every other thing going on right now to focus on the kiss anymore. "Des- fuck," he got out in a short window when his mouth was free, "need you to fuck!"

Desmond laughed again- always laughing, he had the most brilliant laugh, Shaun often thought to himself. "I _am_ fucking. Finger-fucking is a type of fucking."

"Do it harder then," Shaun grunted, nails practically clawing through the back of Desmond's shirt.

Desmond obliged and started moving his hand with more vigor. The gasps and grunts from Shaun were joined by mattress squeaks, rhythmically affirming every harmonized movement of their bodies.

"Give it to me, man, ohh, good, fuck!"

Desmond didn't even care about getting his dick into the action right now; seeing Shaun driven mad like this was its own sort of pleasure. He added a third finger as Shaun opened to him eagerly.

"Ah yes! Pound me, just like that, bloody- yes!"

Desmond smirked into Shaun's chest. Shaun had never used to like being this verbal during sex; it was a relatively new development in the second half of the pregnancy. "Tell me, are you gonna cum just from this, hon?"

"God, I just... fucking might!"

"Good, good..." With his other hand Desmond stroked along from the back of Shaun's head, down his neck, flicked at one nipple.

"Fuck off the nipples, man," Shaun snapped, "focus on my bloody muff!"

So Desmond moved it along, caressing briefly the nub of his navel before heading further down.

"Yes, get it, get it, ohhh, get me right there!" cried out Shaun. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was sure all this writhing about would be murder on his back later. But that didn't matter, this felt so good, Desmond was a bloody mastermind with his fingers, and now he was leaning in and using his _tongue_ too! "Oh C-christ! Des!" Shaun pincered his knees together to keep Desmond in there, to keep him dutifully lapping up the essence that flowed around his thrusting fingers, using little tricky movements to touch all Shaun's most flustered and urgent spots- "Ah!" His toes twitched; his core pulsed. "I'm gonna faacking cum on your face!"

And in another moment, that's exactly what he did.


	10. The important thing was...

"Did you wanna do a middle name?" Desmond asked in the middle of putting up the curtains.

"Oh yes. _Alegri_ ," Shaun answered from the rocking chair without missing a beat.

"Alegri?"

"I swear I've mentioned it to you before."

"I... may have forgotten." There was a quick _bzzz_ from the power screwdriver: Desmond putting in the last support for the bracket to hold up the curtain rod. "That's Italian, right? 'Happiness'?"

Shaun nodded. "I was rereading some thirteenth-century poetry and was struck by inspiration."

Desmond took the rod and started trying to click it into place on the bracket. "What poem in particular jumped out at ya with 'Alegri' in it?"

"Since when do you care about poetry?" Shaun asked, with honest amazement.

"I'm expressing interest in your interests, like a good partner, c'mon."

Shaun smiled. "It's Jacopone da Todi. _Quando t'alegri, omo de altura, va pone mente a la sepultura._ "

The dialect was a few hundred years distant from Ezio's times, but Desmond still caught the meaning. "Guh, that's a little morbid."

"Yes, a lot of his work is that way. It was the style at the time."

"Mm." Desmond meditated on this a bit during the few seconds it took him to collect the curtain rings. "Well as long as we're using the part that means 'happy' and not the part that means 'tomb'."

"Also, I want to change pronouns." 

At once Desmond paused doing the curtain stuff and twisted round to look at Shaun. "You don't like being called 'he' anymore?"

"Well my new ones are pronounced the same," Shaun said, giving a little half-shrug. "I don't feel I need anything vastly different. Just, spell them with a Y after the H."

Desmond tapped his chin. "Wouldn't that be 'high'?"

"Goodness no," Shaun said immediately, wrinkling hys nose like hy'd just caught a whiff of onion. "I don't like it at all that way. And besides, 'enby' ends in Y and it's bloody not 'en-bye'."

"You're not just doing 'hy'-'hym'-'hymself' because you think I'm a dum-dum who can't handle 'ze'-'zer'-'zermself' or whatever?" Desmond asked, playfully accusatory.

Shaun rolled hys eyes. "No, luv. Honestly the only issue I had with my previous set was how it looks spelled out. You _know_ I'm a stickler for spelling. Ah, ow." Hy rubbed hys back, wincing. "I think Jess is on a growth spurt; I'm feeling like they've gotten bigger and heavier lately. Cramping my back something terrible."

"Just three more weeks, babe, three more weeks."

"Yes, I've got it marked on my mental calendar. Nineteen days, to be precise."

"Give or take."

"Urrgh." Shaun rubbed at a tight knot of sore muscle in hys side. "I'd be happy with 'take' but not 'give'. M' definitely going to induce if Jess doesn't show up on schedule."

Desmond slid the rings over the rods and stepped down off the stepladder to take it all in. The curtains had [a jazzy pattern of green houndstooth](http://i.imgur.com/YbLnV1s.jpg), and coördinated well with the crib's bedding and the carpet. "All right, how's it look?"

"Fab, just fab."

"They're not hanging uneven or anything?"

"They're fine."

Desmond stepped back up and inspected the rod closely. "I dunno, it looks a little uneven."

"Christ, I thought _I_ was the perfectionist in this relationship," Shaun said with a laugh. "Come _on_ , Des, it's home decor, not rocket science; a millimetre or two off won't matter." Hy pulled hymself to hys feet. "If you need something else to do, then Jess and I are hungry."

Desmond's eyebrows rose. "It's three in the afternoon?" But Shaun barely had time to think about frowning at him before he added on, "Never mind, I'll make ya something. Whatever ya want, sweet peep."

Shaun scarfed down the mini-omelette Desmond whipped up, and then declared hy was going to have a lie down since "my back hurts like a bitch".

"Is that 'bitch' with an I or a Y?" Desmond chuckled at his own wit.

Shaun laughed too, quite weakly and with a hint of groan, but it did seem to be a genuine laugh at heart.

 

* * *

 

Desmond was idly flipping through the pregnancy guide to pass the time. One bit suggested that "if you have other children, buy a few small presents to give them after birth 'from the baby.'" _What a load of bull. No kid's gonna believe that shit._

A knock came on the door. It was Daniel.

Desmond stared puzzedly at his unexpected visitor. "Uhh. Hi?"

"Hi," Daniel said back. He looked a little uncomfortable, but with a smile plastered over it for politeness. "I, uh. Can we talk?"

"Talk?"

Daniel exhaled. "Look, I know we're not, uh, friends exactly. But you're the only guy I know good that is around my age and... in a relationship."

"Oh. You need advice about... something with Hannah?"

After a couple moments Daniel exhaled again. "She asked me to live with her."

"Mm. _Well_. I guess we can talk, yeah." Desmond let him inside and showed him to a seat on the couch. "So... do you _wanna_ live with her?"

"I... like her. But... what if I... oh..." His eyes flitted about suddenly, glistening with wetness. "What if I провал- бля! Уходи!" He grimaced and smacked his temple. "Вернуть мою английский!"

"Hey, Shaun's napping," Desmond said quickly, "so if you're gonna have a Bleeding Effect then be quiet about it."

"Прост-" Daniel cut off with a grumble and rubbed his eyes briskly before speaking again. "Forgive me. Shit." He leaned back in the couch, and did look truly remorseful. "Another reason I came to you. You got experience having your brain fuck out on you like this."

Desmond nodded. "Hasn't happened to me lately, but yeah I remember it sucks ass."

Daniel tilted his head, giving Desmond an odd smile. "It was Anna this time."

"Hannah?"

"No, Anna." Daniel gestured at the empty space between himself and where Desmond was standing. "She was right there, just now. Heavy with our child. Shit," -his smile fell away- "Nikolai's child. Sorry."

"You don't gotta apologize. Not to me, at least. Like you said, I know how it is."

Daniel sighed and scratched his stubbly chin. "At least it's sorta better with my meds. Nowadays when I see them I usually realize they aren't there."

"Let's get back to the topic of Hannah, huh?"

"Right, yeah."

"So... do you wanna live with her?"

Daniel gripped the couch arm. "Yeah. She's nice... but what if I screw up?"

"Oh you'll screw up, man. That's a guarantee."

Daniel glowered.

"But if you two are really right for each other," Desmond continued, confident now, "then the screw-ups won't matter."

"What are you, a fucking Hallmark card?"

"I'm the dude rocking a relationship!" Desmond swung an arm toward the bedroom to denote his partner. "Listen, Shaun said hy wouldn't put up with all the aches and pains of pregnancy if it was anyone else's baby but mine. So maybe you're gonna be a pain in Hannah's ass sometimes, but... try and be a good enough guy that your positives outweigh the negatives, is what I'm tryna say."

Daniel tapped his fingers on the couch, digesting this, his mouth a thin uncertain line.

Desmond sat down across the couch from him. "Unless you don't like her that much to even give it a trial run."

"Oh I like her a lot. Maybe even love, I dunno. Maybe I'd know what love feels like if I'd gotten to grow up with my fucking parents," he hissed, rubbing his head. "Templars gave me so many issues, man."

"Well..." Desmond hesitated a moment. "Nikolai loved Anna, right?"

"I guess he did, yeah." Daniel snorted a soft laugh. "You saying I should dial into great-grampa's brain to get a feel for relationship shit?"

Desmond shrugged. "Just a concept."

Daniel was quiet a bit. A ray of afternoon sun came through a window, glinted off the piercing in his brow. He shifted out of the ray's path. "You think we'd be good together? Me and her?"

"Well... you two got chemistry, from what I can see. She seems to like ya pretty well."

Daniel hummed and nodded.

Desmond sensed he was still uncertain. "Hey, look: if you work at it, someday I could totally see her saying yes to being Mrs. Hannah Cross."

Daniel snorted again and grinned. "Fuck if I'm giving her my fake-ass Templar name. I'll gladly be Mr. Daniel Mueller, thank you very much."

Desmond laughed approvingly. "It suits you."


	11. Chapter 11

"Ohh, fuck almighty," Shaun growled at dinner that night, tensing up visibly.

Desmond stopped in the middle of chewing. "What? Baby coming?"

"No, fff, bloody no." Shaun rubbed over hys taut belly. "This must be the, ow, oh what's it called. Braxton Hicks."

"Braxton Hicks, huh," Desmond repeated, concern showing in the crease of his brow.

"Uterus doing a bit of practice before the big day. Haven't you- ow- read up on things?"

Desmond swallowed his food. "Yeah, but... is 'practice' supposed to be hurting you this bad?"

Shaun exhaled as the pain faded finally. "Oh it's not that bad."

"You literally said 'fuck almighty'."

" _That_ \- that was not an expression of pain. That was an expression of disbelief and shock that I'm going to be extruding a human being from my intimate parts sometime soon."

"You also said 'ow'. Twice."

"Well it does hurt _some_." Shaun slowly got up from the table. "Know what? I'm not particularly hungry. Think I'll take a nice hot bath to soothe this sore old back."

"Holler if you need anything."

"Don't I always?" Shaun called as hy waddled away.

 

* * *

 

The warm bathwater helped immensely, almost the instant Shaun sank into it. "Ohh, so nice," hy murred. "If only I could stay in the bath the rest of this pregnancy, that would be glorious."

Hy tuned out the clinks of Desmond clearing away dishes and focused on the sound of gentle waves as hy sloshed a hand about, circulating the water all around. Hys back still hurt some, but hy shifted position and that seemed to relieve it a bit. "God you're heavy, Jess. Are you planning to take after your father?"

"Yo, I heard that," Desmond called through the wall.

"Oi, I just meant you're tall and buff and whatnot!"

Desmond laughed. "All right, all right. Hey, your plate's in the fridge if you want it." 

"Couldn't eat another bite, really. Just let me alone to relax here, luv." Hy drizzled soap on the dome of hys belly above the water. It seemed to Shaun that this baby couldn't possibly grow any further; when hy pressed a hand into the skin, there was practically no give at all, like hys belly was full to bursting.

While hy shampooed up hys hair, hy talked some more to Jess. "Getting cramped in there, aren't you? Bet you're just as eager for your birthday as I am. Oh, and you'll love Desmond once you meet him... True, he can be a bell-end at times, but I honestly can't imagine my life without that man." The baby wiggled a bit, as if in response. Shaun rinsed hys hair and relaxed back against the wall, thinking happy fluffy thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Shaun stayed in the bath til hy noticed hys fingers wrinkling up, and glanced at the wall clock. "Ohh, it has been almost an hour, hasn't it? All good things must come to an end."

Hy felt unsteady on hys feet getting out of the tub. "I'll be damn glad to get rid of this belly," hy muttered. "Throws me off balance like nothing else."

"What's that hon?" came Desmond's voice through the door.

"Ah, nothing, luv, just whinging about what the sprout's done to my body." Hy made his way to the sink, then suddenly had to bend over and clutch it for support. "And these warm-up contractions are a bugger!"

"Real ones might be worse."

Shaun grumbled and managed to get hymself slowly dried off and dressed for bed. Desmond was already under the covers and snug as a bug when Shaun got there. _Guess I won't be getting any massage for my dear sore back tonight._

The bed squeaked loudly when Shaun sat up ten minutes later. "Aah, Christ, I've got to poo suddenly."

"Thanks for the update, sweet peep," Desmond mumbled half into his pillow.

"Sarcasm? How dare." Shaun waddled down the hall, mumbling curses at the way pregnancy wreaked havoc on hys formerly-regular toileting schedule.

 

* * *

 

" _Fuck!_ Desmond!"

Desmond sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Whm?"

"F- _Baby!_ Baby is coming!"

This declaration cut through his fog of sleepiness. "W- Shit, really?"

" _ **Yes**_ shit really!"

Desmond threw off the covers and ran to the bathroom, finding Shaun hunched over the rug on all fours. Hy certainly looked in a lot of distress, but could hy really be in labor already? "You said it was just warm-ups."

" _Maybe I was bloody mistaken, all right?!_ " Shaun growled. "Honestly Des, the baby's coming _now!_ "

Desmond's hands started to shake with excitement-anxiety. "Okay, okay, I'll help you up and we'll go to medical-"

"There's- ff- no fucking time to go anywhere! I said _now!_ As in- grrrgh- this very- rrrgh-"

Desmond crouched down to Shaun's eye level. "Are you _pushing_?" he asked incredulously.

Shaun's face was pulled tight with consternation. Hy managed a nod in reply.

"Holy fucking jesus; what do I do?"

Shaun made another pained grunt.

Desmond's mind raced, flashing back with new insight on the similar, albeit weaker, noises Shaun had been making all day, as well as the on-and-off-again complaints of backache. "W- what do I do?" he sputtered again.

Shaun gasped for air and regained hys speech just long enough to snap, "Get down at the other end of me, obviously!"

Desmond made a scared little squeak noise, but obeyed. Shaun's nightgown was clinging to hys sweaty legs and when Desmond pulled it up... well, something was definitely starting to bulge out. "Oh, oh geez."

Later, he thought he oughta have said something really sweet and motivational, to encourage Shaun through this painful stressful event. But, in the moment, he couldn't think of any words at all, because everything was happening so fast. It seemed that one minute Shaun was on all fours, panting and pushing and swearing, and the next minute, it was done; a slippery little creature covered in gunk was writhing in Desmond's hands and Shaun was turning over and sitting up and gasping in relief.

"Oh my god." Desmond blinked in awe.

Shaun wiped hys face and mumbled agreement.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm..." Shaun glanced down. "I've made a mess of the floor."

"Hah. I think this'd probably be messy no matter where it happened."

"Mn, true." Shaun reached over to where hys glasses had fallen, and put them on. "Let's have a look, then?"

Desmond shuffled over on his knees, as slow and cautious as if the baby were glass.

Astonished at the sight, Shaun inhaled sharply.

"I know, right?" Desmond peeled a stray membrane scrap off the baby's thin fuzz of hair. "Hope they're okay. I don't know how to check, really."

"Well... Got a heartbeat?"

"Y- yeah." Desmond could feel it pulsing fast in the child's chest as he held them tight.

"Breathing?"

The baby, who'd been quiet up 'til this point, now sneezed and whined a bit.

"Oh, hello to you too," Shaun said with a smile. "That answers that."

A short series of knocks banged on their front door, and the brand-new parents looked up from inspecting their baby. "I'll, uh, see who that is," Desmond stammered, carefully handing the baby to Shaun.

He opened the door to find Hannah standing there, looking harried and out of breath, her nightgown dusted with dirt. "I- I thought I heard some shouting. Is everything okay?"

Desmond raked his fingers through his hair and chuckled nervously while trying to think how to answer.

Hannah's eyes went wide at the sight of blood on Desmond's hand. "Oh god, what happened?"

"It's fine, I just..." Desmond grinned stupidly. "Just h-helped deliver a baby."

Hannah's eyes went wider and her jaw dropped. "Really?" she whispered.

"Heh. Yeah."

Hannah craned her head around to look behind Desmond. "Shaun? You okay?" she called into the house.

A gurgling wail from Jess answered her. A moment later Shaun also joined in with hys own reply: "I'm a bit knackered and quite sore, thanks for asking!"

"Hey," Desmond touched Hannah's arm lightly, "Can ya go get Dr. Chiu?"

"Right, right!" Hannah smiled and dashed off in the direction of the medical building.

 

* * *

 

Dr. Chiu and Nurse Paul were there soon enough. She was upset at the news of Shaun's precipitous delivery- "You should have come to see me when you started having pains!" she said with dismay- but after a few minutes' examination was happy to pronounce the little one perfectly healthy, albeit a couple weeks ahead of schedule.

"So, what name have you decided on for h-" Paul started to say, but choked that last word off into a muted cough.

"Jess," Shaun said. "Their name is Jess... Er, what was the middle name I thought up before? The one with an A?"

"Alegri," Desmond supplied.

"Right." Shaun yawned wide before stating the full name. "Jess Alegri Miles Hastings."

"Ooh," Desmond said, pleased. "I thought you wanted to go with 'Hastings Miles'."

"Well." Shaun smiled down at Jess and put a fingertip in their tiny palm. "I reconsidered."

The baby's eyelids fluttered open at the touch and they squeezed Shaun's finger tight as possible.

"You're somethin' else, hon," Desmond said, leaning in to peck Shaun's cheek. "You did that so fast."

Shaun shrugged this off with "Well in retrospect I _was_ in labor all day, you realize."

"But you shot them right out at the end. I'm honestly amazed."

"Yes, I did seem to blaze through the pushing stage with ridiculous speed."

"How fast exactly? Did you really not have time to call for me?" Dr. Chiu asked, sounding almost a little hurt.

"Er." Shaun glanced up at the wall clock, looking at it like he only vaguely remembered how to read the thing. "I... can't quote you an exact time, sorry. I was a bit out of my head, you understand."

Desmond was stroking over Jess' taupey-beige hair, reveling in how soft it was. "We made a damn beautiful baby, Shaun."

"Yeah. We certainly did."

"...You ever wanna have another?"

At this, Shaun started to shake with uncontrollable laughter that grew into loud barks.

"Hey, you handled it like a pro; you barely yelled or screamed at all.... And if we have another, you can name 'em Quinn."

This cut the laughter short; Shaun stared at Desmond, skeptical. "I thought you hated that name."

Desmond smiled. "Well, I reconsidered."


	12. epilogue, or, [HANNIEL INTENSIFIES]

_Mr. Desmond Miles Hastings and Mx. Shaun Hastings Miles,_  
_along with their darling child Jess Alegri Miles Hastings,_  
_are cordially invited to the wedding of_  
_Daniel Anatoly Orelov and Hannah Margaret Mueller,_  
_on the morning of Wednesday, the tenth of June, two thousand fifteen._

Desmond read over the big flowy text again before looking back at Daniel. "You know, the coming-over-in-person to tell us about it kinda negates the need for this," he said, tapping the stiff paper against his palm.

Daniel gave a shrug. "Yeah, well, Hannah wanted to be more traditional and formal about it. She had a lot of fun graphic-designing the things on her computer, and didn't wanna just send 'em email. So we got 'em printed, like souvenirs."

"Souvenirs, oh." Desmond nodded thoughtfully. "Guess that explains why you put your ancestor's name." It was common knowledge around HQ that Daniel emphatically disliked being called "Cross", and so everyone was careful to omit that when addressing or referring to him.

"Yeah. I been thinking for a while now there's a good chance it's my real surname, so fuck if I was gonna put down the fake one on something that's supposed to be a happy memento."

"Well, 'Daniel' isn't your name assigned at birth either-"

"Fuck off, I like 'Daniel'."

Desmond held up a hand. "S'cool man, I was just gonna say I'm fine with people picking their own names. Um, what ancestor is this middle name from?"

Daniel shrugged again. "Nobody that I'm aware. Just looked at a load of Russian shit to find somethin' good and hey presto- Anatoly."

"Good choice." Shaun was suddenly beside Desmond in the doorway. "The east, the sunrise. A nice positive denotation."

"Speaking of positive things, they're tying the knot next month." Desmond passed Shaun the invitation for hys perusal.

Shaun read it lightning-fast. "Ah, wonderful. Of course we'll be there, all three of us." Hy paused a moment, with a sneaky smile playing on hys lips. "All four of us, to be honest."

Desmond quickly looked over at hym. "Are we telling people now?"

"Well it'll come out at the wedding anyway, won't it? People are smart; they'll notice I'm not having any alcohol."

Daniel blinked. "You're pregnant again. Already."

"It's been eighteen months," Shaun retorted, "so I wouldn't say 'already' in that judgy tone if I was you!"

"And we totally intended it this time," Desmond said, grinning and throwing an arm around Shaun's shoulders to pull hym close.

"Well okay. Congrats," Daniel said with a warm smile.

"You two thought about kids ever?" Desmond asked.

"Yeah, it's been discussed, we'll adopt somewhere down the line. Not anytime soon, though." The smile became a grin. "Cause we wanna have plenty of time to be wild and free with ourselves first."

"Baba! Baba!"

Shaun turned round. "Yes, little love?"

A round-faced toddler with curls of bright cinnamon hair was proudly holding up a sheet of colorful scribbles. "Baba, look!"

Grinning, Shaun picked up the paper. "Oh goodness, there's me, and there's Desmond, and there's you. What a remarkable piece of work."

"We got ourselves a budding Botticelli here," Desmond said, scooping Jess up and rustling a hand through their fluffy hair.

"Sure, right," Daniel said, rolling his eyes; he couldn't see anything special about the drawing. "So I'll see you at the wedding. Congrats on number two." He waved and walked off to deliver the rest of the invitations.

 

* * *

 

Time flew by, and already too soon it was the tenth of June, and Daniel was standing before the assembled crowd, holding Hannah's hands and spinning an extended nautical metaphor for his vows.

"Sounds contradictory, I know, but you're both my anchor and the wind in my sails." The hoops in his ears gleamed as golden as his hair, while his brow and nose piercings matched his shiny silver cufflinks. "The seas have been rough sometimes, yeah, but you're always there by my side to help me navigate my troubles..."

Shaun leaned subtly over to make a quiet snark to Desmond: "You'd think he was bloody Edward Kenway or something."

"Oh, be nice," Desmond said, pushing hys arm playfully.

"You've seen me at my worst- which was pretty damn bad- and you've helped me become better and put that behind me." Daniel inhaled and held her hands tighter. "I love you, Hannah Mueller. Will you take me as your husband, from this day until death separates us?"

Tears glittering in her eyes, Hannah nodded eagerly.

Daniel grinned a mile wide and pulled her close into a hug.

There was a smattering of applause, and then Hannah began her speech-vows. "Daniel, when I first saw you, I knew that you had a flame in your heart..." She continued on to thank the Lord that she'd found Daniel outside that bar that fateful night, and described in broad strokes how their relationship had slowly grown deeper in the months and years since.

Jess squirmed in Desmond's lap, tiny fists twisting the hem of their [black-and-white outfit](http://i.imgur.com/sBNxV7N.jpg).

"Just a little longer," Desmond whispered. "They gotta kiss and put on their rings and then you can get up."

"Want go. Want play."

"Here, play with this to pass the time." From hys pocket Shaun produced a rubber fidget toy and handed it to Jess.

"Mrrrm." Jess squeezed the fidget and was appeased.

The vows finished after a half-dozen more minutes, and they turned to face the officiant Paul Bellamy. He'd been a pastor in his pre-Assassin days, and was only too happy to reprise that role for the couple. "Daniel Anatoly Orelov," he began, "do you take this woman..."

"D'you regret we didn't have a wedding?" Desmond whispered to Shaun.

Shaun made an unpleasant hum-groan noise.

"Zat mean you want one or you don't?"

"Uch, I can't decide." Hy put a hand on hys stomach. "And thinking about it upsets my morning sickness."

"All right, s'fine." Desmond gave hym a quick kiss on the temple. "Seriously. I'm fine either way. I think living together and raising two kids is proof enough of our love."

Shaun smiled and leaned against Desmond's shoulder.

Hannah took Daniel's head and pulled him close to meet their lips together.

"Presenting Hannah and Daniel Mueller, everyone!" Paul said with a grand arm flourish.

The audience stood and applauded more. The newlyweds went arm-in-arm down the aisle to dance on the fresh-mowed grass as Leonard Cohen's rich smoky vocals came over the speakers.

_Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin_  
_Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in_  
_Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove_  
_Dance me to the end of love_

Desmond spun in place with Jess clapping in his arms, a huge smile on both their faces, and on Shaun's as well. Days like these, happy and joyous, were the kind of days that re-energized the whole Assassin community from their weary endless struggle.

_Dance me to the children who are asking to be born_  
_Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn_  
_Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn_  
_Dance me to the end of love_


End file.
